5/18/2015 IHaveNoMouth,andIMustScreambyHarlanEllison

http://hermiene.net/shortstories/i_have_no_mouth.html 1/11

IHaveNoMouth,andIMust

Scream

byHarlanEllison

Limp,thebodyofGorristerhungfromthepinkpalette;unsupported—hanging

highaboveusinthecomputerchamber;anditdidnotshiverinthechill,oilybreeze

thatbleweternallythroughthemaincavern.Thebodyhungheaddown,attachedto

theundersideofthepalettebythesoleofitsrightfoot.Ithadbeendrainedofblood

throughapreciseincisionmadefromeartoearunderthelanternjaw.Therewasno

bloodonthereflectivesurfaceofthemetalfloor.

WhenGorristerjoinedourgroupandlookedupathimself,itwasalreadytoo

lateforustorealizethat,onceagain,AMhaddupedus,hadhaditsfun;ithadbeena

diversiononthepartofthemachine.Threeofushadvomited,turningawayfrom

oneanotherinareflexasancientasthenauseathathadproducedit.

Gorristerwentwhite.Itwasalmostasthoughhehadseenavoodooicon,and

wasafraidofthefuture."Oh,God,"hemumbled,andwalkedaway.Thethreeofus

followedhimafteratime,andfoundhimsittingwithhisbacktooneofthesmaller

chitteringbanks,hisheadinhishands.Ellenkneltdownbesidehimandstrokedhis

hair.Hedidn'tmove,buthisvoicecameoutofhiscoveredfacequiteclearly."Why

doesn'titjustdousinandgetitoverwith?Christ,Idon'tknowhowmuchlongerI

cangoonlikethis."

Itwasouronehundredandninthyearinthecomputer.

Hewasspeakingforallofus.

Nimdok(whichwasthenamethemachinehadforcedhimtouse,becauseAM

amuseditselfwithstrangesounds)washallucinatingthattherewerecannedgoods

intheicecaverns.GorristerandIwereverydubious."It'sanothershuck,"Itold

them."LikethegoddamfrozenelephantAMsoldus.Bennyalmostwentoutofhis

mindoverthatone.We'llhikeallthatwayandit'llbeputrifiedorsomedamnthing.

Isayforgetit.Stayhere,it'llhavetocomeupwithsomethingprettysoonorwe'll

die."

Bennyshrugged.Threedaysithadbeensincewe'dlasteaten.Worms.Thick,

ropey.

5/18/2015 IHaveNoMouth,andIMustScreambyHarlanEllison

http://hermiene.net/shortstories/i_have_no_mouth.html 2/11

Nimdokwasnomorecertain.Heknewtherewasthechance,buthewasgetting

thin.Itcouldn'tbeanyworsethere,thanhere.Colder,butthatdidn'tmattermuch.

Hot,cold,hail,lava,boilsorlocusts—itnevermattered:themachinemasturbated

andwehadtotakeitordie.

Ellendecidedus."I'vegottohavesomething,Ted.Maybethere'llbesome

Bartlettpearsorpeaches.Please,Ted,let'stryit."

Igaveineasily.Whatthehell.Matterednotatall.Ellenwasgrateful,though.

Shetookmetwiceoutofturn.Eventhathadceasedtomatter.Andshenevercame,

sowhybother?Butthemachinegiggledeverytimewedidit.Loud,upthere,back

there,allaroundus,hesnickered.Itsnickered.MostofthetimeIthoughtofAMas

it,withoutasoul;buttherestofthetimeIthoughtofitashim,inthemasculine...

thepaternal...thepatriarchal...forheisajealouspeople.Him.It.GodasDaddythe

Deranged.

WeleftonaThursday.Themachinealwayskeptusuptodateonthedate.The

passageoftimewasimportant;nottous,sureashell,buttohim...it...AM.

Thursday.Thanks.

NimdokandGorristercarriedEllenforawhile,theirhandslockedtotheirown

andeachother'swrists,aseat.BennyandIwalkedbeforeandafter,justtomake

surethat,ifanythinghappened,itwouldcatchoneofusandatleastEllenwouldbe

safe.Fatchance,safe.Didn'tmatter.

Itwasonlyahundredmilesorsototheicecaverns,andthesecondday,when

wewerelyingoutundertheblisteringsunthinghehadmaterialized,hesentdown

somemanna.Tastedlikeboiledboarurine.Weateit.

Onthethirddaywepassedthroughavalleyofobsolescence,filledwithrusting

carcassesofancientcomputerbanks.AMhadbeenasruthlesswithitsownlifeas

withours.Itwasamarkofhispersonality:itstroveforperfection.Whetheritwasa

matterofkillingoffunproductiveelementsinhisownworldfillingbulk,or

perfectingmethodsfortorturingus,AMwasasthoroughasthosewhohadinvented

him—nowlongsincegonetodust—couldeverhavehoped.

Therewaslightfilteringdownfromabove,andwerealizedwemustbeverynear

thesurface.Butwedidn'ttrytocrawluptosee.Therewasvirtuallynothingout

there;hadbeennothingthatcouldbeconsideredanythingforoverahundredyears.

Onlytheblastedskinofwhathadoncebeenthehomeofbillions.Nowtherewere

onlyfiveofus,downhereinside,alonewithAM.

IheardEllensayingfrantically,"No,Benny!Don't,comeon,Benny,don't

please!"

AndthenIrealizedIhadbeenhearingBennymurmuring,underhisbreath,for

severalminutes.Hewassaying,"I'mgonnagetout,I'mgonnagetout..."overand

over.Hismonkeylikefacewascrumbledupinanexpressionofbeatificdelightand

sadness,allatthesametime.TheradiationscarsAMhadgivenhimduringthe

"festival"weredrawndownintoamassofpinkwhitepuckerings,andhisfeatures

seemedtoworkindependentlyofoneanother.PerhapsBennywastheluckiestofthe

fiveofus:hehadgonestark,staringmadmanyyearsbefore.

ButeventhoughwecouldcallAManydamnedthingweliked,couldthinkthe

foulestthoughtsoffusedmemorybanksandcorrodedbaseplates,ofburntout

circuitsandshatteredcontrolbubbles,themachinewouldnottolerateourtryingto

escape.BennyleapedawayfrommeasImadeagrabforhim.Hescrambledupthe

faceofasmallermemorycube,tiltedonitssideandfilledwithrottedcomponents.

5/18/2015 IHaveNoMouth,andIMustScreambyHarlanEllison

http://hermiene.net/shortstories/i_have_no_mouth.html 3/11

Hesquattedthereforamoment,lookinglikethechimpanzeeAMhadintendedhim

toresemble.

Thenheleapedhigh,caughtatrailingbeamofpittedandcorrodedmetal,and

wentupit,handoverhandlikeananimal,tillhewasonagirderedledge,twenty

feetaboveus.

"Oh,Ted,Nimdok,please,helphim,gethimdownbefore—"Shecutoff.Tears

begantostandinhereyes.Shemovedherhandsaimlessly.

Itwastoolate.Noneofuswantedtobenearhimwhenwhateverwasgoingto

happen,happened.Andbesides,weallsawthroughherconcern.WhenAMhad

alteredBenny,duringthemachine'sutterlyirrational,hystericalphase,itwasnot

merelyBenny'sfacethecomputerhadmadelikeagiantape's.Hewasbiginthe

privates;shelovedthat!Sheservicedus,asamatterofcourse,butsheloveditfrom

him.OhEllen,pedestalEllen,pristinepureEllen;ohEllentheclean!Scumfilth.

Gorristerslappedher.Sheslumpeddown,staringupatpoorloonieBenny,and

shecried.Itwasherbigdefense,crying.Wehadgottenusedtoitseventyfiveyears

earlier.Gorristerkickedherintheside.

Thenthesoundbegan.Itwaslight,thatsound.Halfsoundandhalflight,

somethingthatbegantoglowfromBenny'seyes,andpulsewithgrowingloudness,

dimsonoritiesthatgrewmoregiganticandbrighterasthelight/soundincreasedin

tempo.Itmusthavebeenpainful,andthepainmusthavebeenincreasingwiththe

boldnessofthelight,therisingvolumeofthesound,forBennybegantomewllikea

woundedanimal.Atfirstsoftly,whenthelightwasdimandthesoundwasmuted,

thenlouderashisshouldershunchedtogether:hisbackhumped,asthoughhewas

tryingtogetawayfromit.Hishandsfoldedacrosshischestlikeachipmunk's.His

headtiltedtotheside.Thesadlittlemonkeyfacepinchedinanguish.Thenhebegan

tohowl,asthesoundcomingfromhiseyesgrewlouder.Louderandlouder.I

slappedthesidesofmyheadwithmyhands,butIcouldn'tshutitout,itcutthrough

easily.Thepainshiveredthroughmyfleshliketinfoilonatooth.

AndBennywassuddenlypullederect.Onthegirderhestoodup,jerkedtohis

feetlikeapuppet.Thelightwasnowpulsingoutofhiseyesintwogreatround

beams.Thesoundcrawledupandupsomeincomprehensiblescale,andthenhefell

forward,straightdown,andhittheplatesteelfloorwithacrash.Helaytherejerking

spasticallyasthelightflowedaroundandaroundhimandthesoundspiraledupout

ofnormalrange.

Thenthelightbeatitswaybackinsidehishead,thesoundspiraleddown,and

hewasleftlyingthere,cryingpiteously.

Hiseyesweretwosoft,moistpoolsofpuslikejelly.AMhadblindedhim.

GorristerandNimdokandmyself...weturnedaway.Butnotbeforewecaughtthe

lookofreliefonEllen'swarm,concernedface.

Seagreenlightsuffusedthecavernwherewemadecamp.AMprovidedpunk

andweburnedit,sittinghuddledaroundthewanandpatheticfire,tellingstoriesto

keepBennyfromcryinginhispermanentnight.

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream

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