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Some things are in our control
and others not
The first lines of Epictetus’s Handbook
state: “Some things are in our control
and others not. Things in our control are
opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and,
in a word, whatever are our own actions.
Things not in our control are the body,
property, reputation, authority, and, in one
word, whatever are not our own actions.”
This sounds a lot like the modern
“Serenity Prayer”:
God grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I
can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.
When choosing what to focus our
energy on, we can consider placing things
we can control in one stack and the things
that we cannot control in another stack. We
will find that the stack with things we can
control is much smaller than the one with
the things we cannot control. Those things
do not concern us. There is nothing we can
do about them. It’s helpful to remember
that just because something affects us,
doesn’t mean that we have control over it.
Some modern Stoics suggest that there
is a third stack for things that we have some
control over, but not complete control. For
example, if we are running a race, we can
develop our muscles, build our endurance,
eat right, and get plenty of rest, but we
cannot guarantee that we will win the race.
A Stoic’s goal would be to run our best race
possible, irrespective of who wins.
In the same way, we cannot guarantee
that someone will love us. This is not
within our control. It is within our control,
however, to act in as loving a way as
possible. Also, we cannot control whether
or not we will get a promotion, however it
is within our control to do our job as well
as we are able.
This resonates with the Rosicrucian
practice to bring the best of ourselves to
every situation, something that we have
control over.
Think of a situation now where you
can apply this practice. For example,
rather than trying to get someone to love
us, imagine that we are as loving as possible
to this person. The focus is on our actions,
something we have control over.
Prescribe a character for yourself
Rosicrucians are encouraged to
visualize in the morning how we want
the day ahead to go. Stoics would do this
too, however they would also prepare
for when things don’t go as expected, in
order to achieve a secondary goal in every
situation – that is, to stay true to our values
and character. Rosicrucians might call this
living up to the Rosicrucian ideal.
Epictetus wrote that we should
prescribe for ourselves a certain character
when we are alone and keep our will
aligned with it, no matter what we might
encounter during the day.
Think about a situation that you expect
to encounter that has the potential to be
challenging. Perhaps you will be meeting
with someone who doesn’t fully support
you. Visualize the meeting going well
for everyone involved and then prepare
yourself for something unpleasant to arise.
Make your second goal be staying true to
your values, behaving in the ideal way that
you have prescribed for yourself.
Observe yourself
Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations includes
his personal observations. He asked himself
what motivated his actions and how did
they reflect his values. Were they governed
by reason or by something else?– The soul
of a child? A tyrant? A dumb ox? A wild
beast?