You could say I’m the wild one on the team. The one who is a little bit
reckless and a whole lot cocky. The guy who will make himself the butt of
the joke as long as it makes everyone around him smile. So, starting the
season off by having a breakdown or potentially crying like a little bitch in
front of my teammates wouldn’t exactly be on brand for me.
I’m a twenty-eight-year-old man and I’m not ashamed to admit that
even after all these years, this day is tough for me. I was only thirteen years
old when my brother, two years my senior, had to break the news that our
mom’s car wrapped around a tree while she was driving home in a storm,
and we’d never get to see her again.
So yeah…it’s the worst fucking day of the year.
With bouncing knees, I sit on the closed toilet lid in one of the stalls,
needing to get my shit together. Needing to get back to goofy, everything-
rolls-off-his-shoulders Isaiah Rhodes. The one who knows how to make
everyone around him happy. The one that everyone here expects to see
when I enter the clubhouse.
I like being that guy. Ninety percent of the time, I naturally am that guy.
I figured out when I was young that I could make my brother laugh even
when he was too stressed to smile, and I thrived off that shit. It was as if I
had found my purpose in life—to make those around me happy, so I tend to
keep the sad, sappy moments private.
I give myself one last moment of sadness before I leave the stall, splash
a bit of water on my face at the sink, and exit the women’s restroom.
But as soon as I open the door, voices sound just outside. This part of
the clubhouse is usually empty, so I pause, recognizing Dr. Fredrick’s voice.
I keep myself hidden and out of sight, not wanting anyone to know that I
just had myself a private cry.
“You lied on your application.”
“I didn’t lie,” I hear a woman say in retort.
Dr. Fredrick lowers his voice in an attempt to keep this conversation
between only them, but I can hear him perfectly clear. “You misled, and you
know it.”
“Kenny is a nickname for Kennedy.”
At that, I peek around the small partition to see Dr. Fredrick looking
down at a woman, annoyance plastered on his face.
I can’t see what she looks like since her back is to me, but standing at
full height, she barely makes it to Dr. Fredrick’s chin, and he’s not